Thursday, August 30, 2012

Oven-baked Crunchy Okra

I have a confession. I am sharing it because I think it will help me and possible someone else who might be going through the same thing. If you read the "About B" section, you might remember that I've had some pretty major issues with food and body image. I don't really blog much about it because who wants to read a post from Debbie Downer waa waa waaaa. However, I need a little therapy session and you will be my shrink. For the last several weeks my "issues" have reared their ugly little head and I have been struggling with not allowing the pattern that I set many years ago to spin out of control yet again. Since going Paleo, I have gotten worlds better and I am eternally grateful for that! BUT that doesn't mean that it's something that I won't have to deal with for the rest of my life, I'm now realizing. I think I have realized from the start, that I just put blinders on and avoided that little fact. I do that by the way; it's genetic. I can lie to myself about something and keep avoiding it until it goes away. That's the problem though an...oh God I can't believe I'm going to say it...an...deep breath...eating...disorder doesn't just go away, I have to deal with it. So I teared up typing out those words, I am a major crybaby so that's not really a big shock.

You see, it all started because I have been very busy and overwhelmed with trying to find the balance in my new... much happier... life. I basically have two jobs now and I am trying to go somewhere with my food/paleo/nutrition thing and I think I started feeling like I didn't have control, I am also a major bossy pants and control freak (just ask Casey or anyone else who knows me). Then I went shopping to get my mind off things and relax and it happened gasp I went up a pant size! Now before you get all "omg I quit Paleo because I don't want to gain weight!" "I knew it was all a plot to make me fat and give me a heart attack" calm down seriously, you need to know before CrossFit and Paleo I looked like a tomato on toothpicks. My legs were stupid skinny. They needed to gain mass so I looked like I could support my upper body. I LOVE LOVE LOVE having bigger legs and an actual butt so much I ask everyone "How does my butt look?" Or saying, "My butt is SO big HUH?!?"  I know that I went up a pant size because of my awesome huge butt (it's not THAT huge) and legs, but in the past the number on the tag or on the scale out-weighed everything else--no pun intended. I could go from feeling like a house, get on the scale and weight 5lbs less than I thought and the world was right again OR I could feel "skinny" and try on clothes and feel like a huge failure, it had that much power over me.

So my past was triggered and it all came rushing back to me. I have been withdrawn because I thought someone might sniff me out and that was a scary thought, I also felt like a huge hypocrite. Now I had not done anything in the way I used to, i.e. binge, punish, completely obsess, but my mind was going to that place and that made me feel like I had no right to preach the Paleo lifestyle to others.  So I sucked it up and confessed my sins to my friend Sabrina because I knew I needed to vocalize it, which is something that I would and had never ever ever done before. That was a big break-though for me. I was strong enough to say it out loud before it could have a chance to spin out of control. Not this time! That night I told Casey and I have felt better ever since.

Two years ago, I would have never thought I would be in the place I am today, that's my message I guess. It is possible to overcome these obstacles and with Paleo I really don't think I would be doing it. I'm a fighter--more of a lover, but in this case I'm a fighter. I'm going to keep fighting this... probably forever but I know I can do it! I'm a work-in-progress, and we all are. None of us will ever "B" perfect and that's OK. Let's face it, if each and every one of us was perfect, life would be sooooo boring and we would never have epic stories of awesome fails to tell! Fight the good fight!


Oh yeah here's some major noms for you to try.


Oven-Baked Crunchy Okra
 
1 bag frozen okra
2 handfuls walnuts
4-5 Tbs. flaxseed meal
2 eggs
1 Tbs. curry powder
liberal amount of sea salt and cracked pepper





 
Preheat oven to 375. Using a food processor, grind walnuts to a fine flour... be careful not to process too long or you'll have walnut butter. Get out a medium size mixing bowl and dump in the walnut flour, flax meal, curry and salt and pepper. mix it around with your hands and set aside. In a small bowl, whisk two eggs until yolks are busted and mixed with the whites. Dip each piece of okra in the egg and then coat it in the flour mixture and place on a baking sheet and bake for about 30 mins or until crusted has browned. And don't feel guilty about feeding your body!

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7 comments:

  1. You are amazing and I'm proud of how far you have come! I know it took a lot for you to post this and I'm sure in some way it has helped someone! Recipe looks yum yum yummy!

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  2. Thank you Sabrina, I hope it does. Yum yum yummy is right!!

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  3. Brittany,
    Thank you for sharing this. I just found your blog and love the way you communicate. I really relate to everything that you talk about.. I too have had a very similar past and similar eating issues. It IS a life-long struggle, unfortunately... But, talking about it helps and recognizing that it exists through writing and conversation weakens the power that it has over us... Thank you for this site. I made the paleo bread tonight, but it came out more like a baked omelet. :( I'll have to try again with a bigger pan.
    :)

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    1. Thank you so much, I am so glad you found me!! This issue affects so many of us but you are right, if we talk about it than it has less power over us. As for the bread, make sure it is mixed really well and try baking it longer. I think that will help. Let me know how it turns out!

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  5. This is UH-MAY-ZING!!! So good and very easy!!!

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